"Just initial here, here, and here." Real reports on their "fender benders."

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Soldier Signs Nondisclosure Agreement, Immediately Discloses Everything to Prediction Market for 12x Return

Insider Trading Goes Military • 13 min read

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Soldier Signs Nondisclosure Agreement, Immediately Discloses Everything to Prediction Market for 12x Return

Army sergeant charged with using classified intel from Venezuela operation to profit on prediction market, then asking platform to delete his account.…

Michael Smith • 23 Apr 2026

Tucker Apologizes for Misleading People After Decades-Long Career of Misleading People

Leopards Eating Faces • 13 min read

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Tucker Apologizes for Misleading People After Decades-Long Career of Misleading People

Conservative host apologizes for "misleading people" about Trump after backing him through 2024 campaign, now opposes Iran war he helped enable.…

Michael Smith • 22 Apr 2026

Trump Bypasses Congress Using Legal Theory Based on Columns That Don't Exist

Architectural Monkey's Paw • 12 min read

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Trump Bypasses Congress Using Legal Theory Based on Columns That Don't Exist

President's triumphal arch balloons from proposed 60-foot tribute to 250-foot gold monument, alienating original proponents and veterans alike.…

Michael Smith • 15 Apr 2026

President Takes Time Between Golf and MMA to Review Pope's Job Performance on Social Media

Papal Performance Review • 13 min read

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President Takes Time Between Golf and MMA to Review Pope's Job Performance on Social Media

President criticizes first American pope as too liberal while claiming personal credit for his ascension. Pope continues calling for peace.…

Michael Smith • 12 Apr 2026

Chris Pratt Gets Superhero Body, Wife Tells Him She Preferred Him Fat: A Prophecy

Looksmaxxing Regret • 13 min read

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Chris Pratt Gets Superhero Body, Wife Tells Him She Preferred Him Fat: A Prophecy

After getting ripped for a magazine shoot, this husband learned a terrible truth: looking better is the fastest way to ruin your marriage.…

Michael Smith • 09 Apr 2026

Vatican Protocol Shattered • 13 min read

Pope Breaks 2,000 Years of Diplomatic Neutrality to Tell Trump to Please Just Stop

Michael Smith • 07 Apr 2026

Man Who Decides Flood Relief Claims God Beamed Him Across Georgia, Servers Say They'd Remember the Weirdo

Divine Disaster Management • 12 min read

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Man Who Decides Flood Relief Claims God Beamed Him Across Georgia, Servers Say They'd Remember the Weirdo

Gregg Phillips says God moved him to a Georgia Waffle House. The staff who've seen knife threats and overdoses say they'd remember that.…

Michael Smith • 06 Apr 2026

Trump Administration Discovers New Way to Fund Big Oil: Just Pay Them to Not Do Renewables

Paying People Not To Help • 12 min read

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Trump Administration Discovers New Way to Fund Big Oil: Just Pay Them to Not Do Renewables

Trump admin gives French oil giant TotalEnergies nearly $1 billion in taxpayer funds to abandon offshore wind projects and drill for oil instead.…

Michael Smith • 02 Apr 2026

Department of War • 12 min read

Military Discipline Evaporates As Hegseth Declares "Patriots" Immune From Rules They Broke Day Before Army Announced Investigation

Michael Smith • 01 Apr 2026

Dodger Stadium Debuts $75 Cup, Discovers Exact Dollar Amount Where Nostalgia Meets Financial Self-Harm

Fact-Free Freelancing • 12 min read

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Dodger Stadium Debuts $75 Cup, Discovers Exact Dollar Amount Where Nostalgia Meets Financial Self-Harm

A $75 Shohei Ohtani souvenir cup sparked outrage, got discounted, sold out, then resold for $290. Welcome to the collectibles economy.…

Michael Smith • 31 Mar 2026

Nation Discovers Humility Was Just Performance Art All Along, Immediately Abandons It

Tragic Taste • 14 min read

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Nation Discovers Humility Was Just Performance Art All Along, Immediately Abandons It

Source: New York Times * Cultural trend shows rise of "toxic confidence" replacing millennial impostor syndrome, with underqualified people…

Michael Smith • 28 Mar 2026

Hegseth Implements Revolutionary Merit System Where Secretary Personally Reviews Every Black Officer's Term Papers From Grad School

Bootlick and Trade • 14 min read

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Hegseth Implements Revolutionary Merit System Where Secretary Personally Reviews Every Black Officer's Term Papers From Grad School

Source: The New York Times * Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth unilaterally removed four officers (two Black, two women) from Army one-star…

Michael Smith • 27 Mar 2026

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Michael Smith

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"Just initial here, here, and here." Real reports on their "fender benders."

Tragic Taste

Political Scandal

Grift Economics

Corruption